This is the time of the year when I feel like a complete hypocrite.

Each evening I go home and look at the holiday gift catalogs. I'm immediately reminded that my advice in this column and my heart are often in two different places when it comes to gizmos, gadgets and computers.

When I write this column I try hard to be practical. I owe it to you because these are major purchases. I tell you to wait before you buy a plasma TV or large LCD monitor for your computer.

But I sit at home and yearn for both. Sometimes my yearnings turn into action.

I often tell you not to replace your old PC until it won't perform some task that is really important to you. But my basement is littered with the boxes for the powerful new PCs that I buy all too frequently. And new gadgets of all kinds arrive at my house so often that the UPS guy sends me a Christmas card each year.

So today, in the spirt of the holidays, I'm going to abandon my practical ways and tell you how I would spend my money if I could. You may be more articulate than I am --- so you are probably able to convince your spouses that dropping a few thousand on a gadget is a terrific use of your money.

My hat is off to you. So here's what I would do, if I could:

> Television. I'd rent a large truck and pick up a big-screen LCD or DLP television. I'm sorry to talk in initials, by the way, but that's how technology has perverted the language. Most of you already know about LCD, so I'll just explain that stands for liquid crystal display. DLP stands for digital light processing and is a nifty new technology that I think will be around for a while.

The brightest pictures and the deepest colors still come from those trendy plasma screens, but I worry about whether they'll give you a satisfactory service life. If money were no object at all, I'd pop for LCD or DLP instead.

If you're not handy, it might be best to forget about that rental truck and get home delivery and setup. Also, be careful. I see many large-screen sets, including plasma ones, that won't produce a true HDTV picture. So make sure that the monitor is HDTV capable.

> Computer monitors. I'd go with a flat-screen LCD. It's lighter than the old-fashioned cathode ray tube monitor I use now. But your wallet will be lighter, too, if you buy a good one.

And you should. I'd avoid bottom-of-the-line LCD monitors, because there really is a difference between the el cheapo monitors and the pricey ones. I'd get a 19-inch flat screen LCD monitor and then invite over all my friends to see how terrific it looks.

> Digital cameras. Sure, you can get by with a 3-megapixel model, as I've told you in the past. But the cameras with 6 megapixels of resolution and more produce digital images that can be enlarged to 16 by 20 inches or so. I know --- I've done it. The prints I create from my professional digital camera --- a Fuji S2 Professional --- compare favorably with what I'd get from shooting film with my Nikon.

If I were a rich guy, I'd pick up the successor to my camera, the Fuji S3. After all, what's $2,500 for folks such as ourselves? And it offers 12 megapixels. That price doesn't include the lenses; it's for the body only.

> Printers. I use the Canon i9900. It retails for around $500. That's a lot of money. But it lets me make photographic prints that are truly worth framing. And I can produce a print that's 13 by 19 inches --- something like that is so much more impressive on the wall than the 8-by-10 prints produced by most printers.

> Computers. Here's where I actually spend some money at home. My advice to you is to buy a relatively inexpensive new computer so that you won't feel so bad when you need to replace it in a couple of years.

It's still good advice. But I don't follow it at all. My main home computer --- I have seven, which I admit is sort of excessive --- has 1 gigabyte of RAM. Almost every computer expert will tell you that adding RAM does more for speed than a slightly higher processor speed.

> Computer networks. In my column, I often mention that I prefer a wired network. There's less to go wrong when compared to wireless. And I do follow my own advice --- after a fashion --- at home. I have a wired network.

But I also have a wireless access point that is connected to that wired network. A wireless access point --- a WAP in techspeak --- connects to your wired network and sends out a wireless signal throughout the house. That comes in handy at my home. It lets my stepdaughter, Erin, sit on the couch and watch MTV at the highest possible volume while doing her homework.

I feel a lot better now that I have all this off my chest.

In fact, I feel so good that I think I'll order a big LCD television.

bhusted@ajc.com