Not long ago I wrote a column talking about the various ways I had ruined computers. I'm positive that I've destroyed many more than I have ever fixed.
At the end of the column I invited you to e-mail me with stories of how you have murdered a PC.
As usual, there was a flood of e-mail filled with stories that would have made any high-tech serial killer proud. So today I'll let you do the talking, and I'll do the typing. If I can type half as good as you talk, we're in for an entertaining column.
We'll start with Hazel Butler of Fitzgerald. She read my warning about placing a computer on the floor.
I said that --- since dust settles toward the floor --- it can eventually clog the cooling vents of a computer. Hazel's office has four computers, all on the floor, and --- after reading what I had to say --- she said: "Suddenly I smell something running hot. I'm not kidding."
I hope it's just the power of suggestion, Hazel. But maybe not. She asked if a computer repair shop can perform a quick spring cleaning for the innards of a computer. And the answer is yes. Any good repair shop can do the job.
Bill Hamilton had some great stories about the various ways he has murdered a computer. He notes that most power connections inside a computer can fit into the connector only one way --- the right way. Unfortunately, Bill has encountered an exception or two.
"Plug those in reversed, and you'll be rewarded with spectacular sound effects and a nice column of smoke," he said.
Which reminds me of a story. It's about the tongue-in-cheek theory of electronics that is often championed by my favorite electrical engineer. He claims electronic devices aren't really powered by electricity. Instead, he says, the circuit boards are filled with smoke. It is the escape of this smoke that kills a computer, he said.
His proof? Well, a cloud of smoke from your computer is usually a smoke signal that translates to this message: Your computer just died. I'm not sure about that. But Rick Cook of Seattle might agree.
Recently he let all the smoke out of his computer.
"During a fit of anger over a video game, I yanked the keyboard plug out of a running computer," he said. "That apparently fried the motherboard, because it refused to boot from that point on, regardless of what keyboard I attempted to plug into it."
It sounds like the modern-day equivalent of throwing your golf clubs into the lake after making a particularly bad shot.
Physical coordination is important in golf, and it can also pay off around a computer. Just listen to what happened to Jim Madsen of Colorado Springs, Colo.
"I bought myself a new Dell computer with all the latest stuff. I started hooking up the cables. Since I am 57 and can see [close up] better without glasses, I sat my glasses on the floor next to the computer. One of the cables snagged on the top of the case, and the computer fell over on its side --- BOOM!!! The computer was OK, but my $200 glasses were smashed to smithereens."
Speaking of getting smashed, I told readers that it was a bad idea to consume a soft drink --- or a hard one, for that matter --- while working at a computer. Spilling a liquid into the innards of a computer can create an impressive popping sound and an equally impressive repair bill for the fried circuits.
Tom Armstrong of Marietta wrote to offer his own opinion, one that may make more sense than the one I expressed.
"As to the drinking at the computer," he said. "I can't think of any better combination than the Internet and a good stiff drink."
I always try to learn from my readers.
tecbud@ajc.com
